Spelunky

This will be my first review, so let me give you a brief overview of myself. I love games that frustrate, enrage, and make one lose all faith in both God and humanity. More than that I like beating them. Hard.

I’ve traversed planes upon planes of roguelike games, where Dark Souls was the mainstream staple roguelike for most, Spelunky was mine. Spelunky is like Dark Souls’s abusive uncle who isn’t really your uncle, just some guy your dad works with.

Beneath it’s welcoming colors and retro 2D platformer feel, Spelunky hides a sadistically challenging, aggravatingly limit pushing quest apparent right off the bat. You take on the role of an intrepid explorer set out to find the fabled lost Kingdom, where many before you have tried and paid with their failure with their lives, you shan’t! (Or so you so naively think)

The map layouts are never the same, the enemies always different, and the deaths always permanent. Once you die you go back to the very start and try again, with no familiar patterns, and naught but your wit to keep you going.

With your trusty whip, a couple of bombs, and several climbing ropes you must fight your way to the exit of each level whilst trying to take as little damage as possible so as not to make your life far more difficult later.

During your travels you will come across damsels, dudes, and the occasional pug in distress. Carrying them (Which often times means dropping something far more valuable) to the exit will grant you one bonus health to see you through the unruly underworld. Whether or not they are worth the risk is entirely up to you.

You will come across the occasional shopkeeper who will gladly sell you his wares should you choose to spend some of that gold you've accumulated (Including human slave bodyguard), or you could attack him (Many a time by accident, mind you, as the result of triggering adjourning traps) and face the consequence of a maniacal shotgun wielding shopkeeper waiting for you at every exit, of every level.

There are two primary ways to go about finishing Spelunky, you can just fight for your life up to the very end, or, for the more masochistic of us (raises hand), you could try to actually find the Lost City by going through the gates of Hell. To do this you have to complete very specific objectives in each zone which require an absurd amount of both dedication and patience, whether the rewards are worth it are, again,  entirely up to you.

If you have friends that you’d rather not be friends with anymore, Spelunky has a multiplayer option.

You can go through the entirety of the game, bonus endings and objectives included, with three other friends, it gets very messy, very chaotic, very fast, but it’s definitely worth trying at least once. For the more straightforward, Spelunky too has a deathmatch mode where you pit four players against each other with all or some items and weapons of your choosing.

In the end, Spelunky, if nothing else, is an experience. And one worth trying for any gamer worth his/her salt. It’s punishing, frustrating, VERY entertaining, and easily rests on my top 10 list of roguelike games.